A new member.

The new year begins in a week and I think about the last couple months and how much my life has changed. It was mid October when I found out I was pregnant. I was in the hospital thinking I was dying (I had massive abdominal pain and nausea)when the doctor comes in and says I was 6 weeks pregnant. They took me to get and ultrasound and there's where I saw the baby, a tiny little thing the size of a kidney bean with a heart, a beating heart. I couldn't believe it. I had never been any happier. I decided to quit smoking and drinking immediately, eat healthy and get a job. And let me tell you, it has been going great. Four months into pregnancy, the baby is healthy, it kicks, it sucks its thumb, it's the size of a turnip (5 inches, 5 ounces) and it has just been wonderful. Oh, and I got a job! I am a line cook, close to what I wanted to have. We won't find out the sex of the baby til January. To me, that would be the greatest way to start the new year, knowing what the new addition to our family would be. And Josh has been great also, I've never seen him more committed and mature than before. I love him more everyday and I know he'll be the greatest dad in the world. :)
More to follow.

October

The bridge from autumn to winter. When the climate changes, the leaves fall, and the new year approaches. Time to stop and look back, think about the things done and the ones to not be repeated. Time to think about new goals for later and better changes for now. Time to gather with family and dine together in the holidays. To dress up for the day of the dead. To celebrate with love Hanukkah and Christmas. This time of the year, the time before a new beginning, is what I love. When I get to give out candy to the children. When I get to help prepare the Thanksgiving dinner. When I get to light up the candles of the Menorah. When I get to help decorate the Christmas tree. When I get to toast with the loved ones that night of New year's Eve. A great time to live, to make memories, to cherish for a lifetime. October, the passage way for all those great holidays, food, and lovely times. Oh, what a good time to come.

Day Three of 30

Me and my friends. Not that many of them but, wonderful people.
My Besties :)
My woman, Rae <3
My soul sister ^^
My F.E.S.
Niggas :D

People who will always have a place in my heart ^^

Untitled.

I feel comfort in solitude. Comfort in the night of dawn with a cigarette in my hand waiting for the day to begin as I think about the past, the present, the future, the possibilities, the things I wish would not come. I think about the strangers around me, how their life must be like, their thoughts within. I think about my future with him and things I rather not see. The falling ashes of the clove cigar in my hand and how I wish my some things could disappear like the smoke I exhale. Solitude. Solitude within that I crave at this time of day to relax, to meditate, to let go, to bring peace for myself. Silence. Silence that I hear, that I enjoy, that I dislike. A daily cycle that I wish would end. Sitting in silence every, putting my thoughts away in a box before the day begins so, no one else can see the sadness I hide. Everyday the same thing. When will it end? But, for now, I feel comfort in solitude. Oh, great silence.

Summertime

In summertime the living is easy...

This summertime my life took turns, for better and for worse. Either way, this was the best summer of my life. Love and friendships developed in this never ending chapter of my life. Now, it's time to turn the page but, time only slows and the passages are prolonged. People are moving on and autumn is approaching. The leaves will change, the leaves will fall. The air will be cold, the wind will be strong. The holidays will begin, and I might still be here in the warm summer breeze. Longing for the passage to end, for the page to turn, and the new season to begin. That chapter of new, better changes to unfold. The life of new learning, new beginnings, other destinies. Summertime, the living is easy. Autumn, shedding for the new. Time to turn the page.

Sunday morning

It's Father's Day, most of my friends are out of town so and I wasn't feeling well. So, today I decided to treat myself with some cake and one of my favourite movies of all time, Sex and Lucia. Such a good decision. The passion in this movie inspired me to some new things I wanna try with my baby and it just made me feel so much better after waking up in a wreck. I recommend this movie to anyone in my situation. And now, I'll eat some more cake and watch the sunset. :)

Is it too early?

June 5th, my boyfriend gives me a ring telling me he loves me. That's when he tells me he want to marry me. I've known him since I first moved to America, he was my neighbour, one of my first friends, my first crush, and the first person I smoked with when in this country. The story is quite lovely. It's like it was destined to be. After a year, I had moved away from the neighbourhood to another city. We had lost contact after that, which was kind of sad for me because I really enjoyed my time with him. Two years later, January of 2010, we meet again through the Facebook site. We start to catch up and decide to meet up a week after. It was quite fun, we hit it off. One month later, we start a relationship. Four months into it, and it has been the best four months of my life. Nothing can ever bring me down when we're together. We never argue, we are musical soul mates. I love to shop, he does too. Isn't that just great? At least for me. There's nothing we could talk about, his knowledge is so vast. Like Nirvana's song, Heart-Shaped Box, he belongs in my mine. Because of him, I have changed for the better, and I've never been happier. I cannot see myself with anyone else, and I would, gladly, spend the rest of my life with him. Many of our friends say we're crazy to marry this early but, I say, that if I've found true love, why not just go for it?